Well I've finished 2 of my 4 classes and this has left me room to think, and blog.
Yesterday I took my final exam for Intermediate Algebra and I have to go up to campus and have a proctor for those tests. As I was walking around I was people watching because this is the best past time ever. I love people watching. For the longest time I wanted to get my major in psychology because people and their behaivor are so interesting. Anyway, I noticed that I kind of grouped people into categories without thinking and tried to tell as much as I could just by looking at them. This line of thinking got me to thinking about myself. If I could see myself walking along the street and see myself as a stranger what would I see?
Would I think that I was a pretty person,
would I look stuck up?
What would I see in myself that I can't see now?
Everybody wants to see themselves a certain way, they want to believe they are smart, beautiful, admired, gorgeous, muscular, perfect body build....but then when I look in the mirror and see that I'm not all those things that I hope that I am, I just become overly critical.
I have love handles, I don't have rock hard abs, my hair isn't perfect, my face is boyish, maybe I'm not smart either.
I either like to think I'm amazing or never good enough.
I do wish I could see myself objectively. It would be fun to see what I think about myself.
Without Bias.
from our point of view thinking back to when we moved in, we thought you were suuuuper cute, very nice, and we also wondered how old you were because an 18 year old girl usually doesn't have 2 cute kids ;)
ReplyDeletehow true that is! (about what you wrote down...) again my thoughts you put into words!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could see myself without bias too. Josh tells me that I'm pretty and all I see are the gray hairs and the fat rolls and can't figure out what's wrong with his eyes...
ReplyDeleteI don't remember EVER thinking you had a boyish face. You can definitely put that one to rest. :) Nor have I ever noticed love handles or non-rock-hard abs. Haha. I think you are great! I know what you mean about wishing you could view yourself though.
ReplyDeleteI read this earlier and then i tried to think about it to see if I could picture you objectively... and I don't know if I can. I think sometimes I still put you in the "little sister box" but when I stayed with you this winter break, it was really fun to be around the adult you. I enjoyed our conversations about the church, about nutrition, about life... so I know I'm not biased but even the sterotype I used to have of you is always changing... so I guess I can just say I think you're very smart, you're a good mom, you're very cute and I disagree about the boyish face. If you have love handles, I wouldn't know it so you either don't or you dress well to not accentuate them.
ReplyDeleteAs for the rest of the stuff you said, it was interesting cuz I was thinking some of the same stuff. Like Tuesday I was walking with co-workers and we passed a couple wearing leather jackets and looking kinda punk so my first instinct was to shy away but then I realized they were wearing riding jackets was thinking about Wade and his motorcycle so I just looked up at smiled at the girl and she smiled back... it wasn't more than that but just a little stereo type breaking I guess...
Anyway. You're cool - love ya!
deep very deep
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