In the army now

Today Isaac has been gone a week for his month long training this summer. The first bit wasn't as bad because I was able to stay with my brother and sister-in-law, which was really nice. I'm very greatful. Now that I'm home it has been a lot harder especially at night. I have come to realize how much I love and rely on my husband. I keep thinking that I don't want to be alone but truthfully I want to be alone, with Isaac. I know I'm being selfish for complaining because he is doing some hard things at LDAC. (I'm not sure if that is the right letters for the acronym! but I don't really care!) I have come to really respect army wives who have husbands that are deployed. I'm struggling with 6 weeks but they have to do a year! (or more) I wanted to say that I think Isaac's grandma is amazing. She is a widow and her husband served in WWII. They spent 2 years ( I'm not positive on the time frame but I'm pretty sure it was 2) apart. He left his wife and 6 week old first born son and went to war. I think they both were so brave. It is easy to be brave when you commit. When the moment comes you are truly tested. When the moment comes to drive to the airport and kiss goodbye. The wife walks away alone fighting the tears. The husband sits on the plane. He is nervous about what lies ahead, too nervous to think about anything else. At night they don't have each other for comfort at the end of a hard day. When they experience a funny joke or a moment they turn to look for each other but find they are alone or without. It is the little things that get to me. When I came home after a week away the bathroom light was on. This is such an Isaac thing to do. I wasn't sure if I should be upset or laugh. It was almost like he was just downstairs and not in Washington. He left his razor on the counter and forgot to rinse the hair out of the sink after he shaved. It was such a normal senerio it was almost like he would call my name and peek around the corner. I feel a little rediculous writing all this over Isaac being gone only 6 weeks but I want to write it somewhere. I miss my husband. I am proud of his sacrifice and I know being with him when it is over will be worth whatever feelings I may have now, BUT this is miserable. I may not be a good army wife for saying "I'm miserable" but I don't want to diminish that I am so proud of Isaac. He is so much braver than me. He is smart and funny. Some days I wonder what he saw in me. I'm not supportive or outgoing or funny. But I never feel uncomfortable around him. He loves me and I always know it. Mostly I am so proud of Isaac. I am lost without him but I know that nothing great is acomplished in this world without sacrifice. To all the men in the army for what they are willing to and do sacrifice and the wives behind at home, Thank you. I don't know the full extent of what you go through, but I'm greatful.

Therapy

Blogging is kinda of funny. I think about it all the time. The things I would say and it is very theraputic. Especially because I feel like I gave birth to Satan. So here is some things I have learned.
-If Satan had a favorite color juice, it would be red.
-Satan would have to pour his own red juice every time nobody was looking and would spill it on the floor, in the fridge, on the table, the counter, but most importantly, the carpet.
-If Satan were being potty trained he would pee his pants every time he (she) needed to pee just because. He (she) is perfectly capable of peeing in the toilet, but he (she) would pee his (her) pants every time. I still haven't figured out why. Aparently Satan is unconcerned with the rewards or punishment system.
-If Satan had a sister he (she) would write with marker on her face. He (she) would tear everything out of his sisters hands just to make her cry. He (she) would wake her up from all her naps because what fun is a sleeping baby?
-If Satan was potty training she would wait until you weren't home to poop in her pants. And she would do it more than once in a 10 minute time period.
-If Satan was hungry he would first dip a sharp knife into purple glitter and then proceed to cut a cantalope because.....I'm not really sure. I'm really not.

If my daughter was Satan I'm sure she wouldn't make me laugh. It doesn't happen right away but she certainly makes life.....spicy. She has and probably always be our firecracker. Some days she feels like a demonic creature straight from the underworld but then she smiles. I can't say that works on me until several hours have passed. Children are no longer angels I think, but they are heavenly. I haven't quite figured out the rest of what they are but I suppose it isn't Satan.

Little victories

Ok It is silly but after a couple of weeks of trying to figure it out (without asking for help because i simply can't, don't know why) I figured out how to.....post my blog lists of blogs I follow!!! I feel so proud of myself!!! ahhh. Now I can go and feed my children and return to my normal life.

Pain and pain in the butt

On wednesday I had my wisdom teeth pulled. It actually was a pretty good day too. 2/3 of the day is pretty foggy and while I don't like that, I kind of do. I vaguely recall the dental hygenist telling me I wouldn't remember anything that she was telling me and I remember this made me really mad. Anyway, today has been the real kicker. I didn't realize how down and out I'd be after getting my teeth pulled (or I would have done it when I didn't have children!!!). It has been a challenge mostly because I can't take a nap. Or there is a price I should say. There is nobody physically preventing me from sleeping (besides the screaming squealing children) but when I choose to fall asleep I make the choice to sacrifice something for that selfish pleasure. Today I sacrificed a bottle of hand sanitizer. I awoke to Kenzie cleaning the kitchen floor. One whole bottle. (anybody want to lick my kitchen floors, they're germ free) The second nap I took I was given the consequence of refolding a tub of wipes that Chloe "unpacked" for me. Later on I discovered that the kitchen floors had been coated with cinnamon. (Again the kitchen floors are germ free and cinnamon flavored!) Certainly things could have been worse (and they have....poop is all I'll say) but today I paid a price for my naps. Sometimes the price is worth it, sometimes it isn't.

I wasn't able to update this yesterday because the internet was down. Kenzie loves to play outside. Every chance she gets she runs out the front or back door. Yesterday the weather was nice so I left the back door open since our back patio is closed off. Then I went upstairs. My bedroom window overlooks the patio and peeked on her she was in the Charcoal grill. Again, my bad for leaving it out but she apparently loves the ashes and the way they scatter in the wind and turn her fingers gray. I'm glad I caught her before something really bad happened. Could have been worse!