Sad mood

So we've been sick at my house for a while and so we are all cooped up (and a little crazy too) but I've noticed when I get cooped up I tend to surf the internet randomly. Today I came across an essay that was featured in Oprah's magazine ("O") by Susan Klebold. If you don't know who Susan Klebold is she is the mother of Dylan Klebold, one of the columbine shooters. Being cooped up tends to make me impatient with my kids, especially when they are sick too. I'd be lying if I said that I've been a good mom while we've been "hanging out" the last week together. What this woman had to say about her son just broke my heart. She didn't know what was going on in her son's innermost thoughts and feelings. He was a shy boy who didn't confide in others and didn't like to be dependant. The last thing she heard him say was bye as he walked out the front door. She thought he was upset about not being able to sleep in longer. For six months she was not allowed to see all the evidence that the police found in her son's case. During that time her and family believed that somehow he was involved by accident or that he was coerced into being a part of the shootings. Finally the police revealed his journals to his mother and she learned that not only had he been deeply invovled but that him and his friend had planned to blow up the entire school. For years he was suicidal and depressed and lonely. She knew none of this. I guess what got me to blogging about this was the fact that this woman was not a bad mother. Perhaps she could have been better and that thought will always plague her I think. Who couldn't be better? Accidents happen all the time. We can't keep danger, fear, loss or bad from coming into our lives or the lives of our children. It is a scary thing too. What experiences will my little daughter face in this life that I cannot save her from? This is incredibly depressing to think about but what can I say, Again, I've been cooped up. I guess It got me to thinking that people have a duty to each other in this world. We are each others keepers and if we don't look out for each other soemtimes tragedy befalls us. One person can see things that others can't. One person can be a lifesaver. One person can be a hero to somebody.